And now,
for something completely non-political...
So, I had a very WEIRD thing happen today on my way home from work. Indulge me for a minute whilst I explain...
As per my usual, on my way home, I stopped at a Wawa (convenience store, for those not familiar with the name) to pick up a couple of sodas and a pack or 2 of cigarettes. Usually, I spend no more than maybe $14-$15. Hey, cigarettes are expensive here in the People's Republic of New Jersey.
As I walked in to the store and headed towards the cooler with the sodas, I went past an older woman I didn't know. I smiled politely as I walked by, noticing that she was staring quite intently at me.
I was just opening the cooler door when I heard a gentle clearing of a throat behind me.
"Ahem. Excuse me, young man."
I turned to face the woman who had been staring at me, wondering why in the world anyone would call me a "young man."
"Yes, ma'am? How can I help you?" (My mother raised me right)
"Well...." she said, hesitantly. "I just wanted to let you know that you look almost exactly like my son. I had to do a double-take, you look so much like him. He died a couple years ago, and I miss him terribly."
Obviously, this had become quite the surreal experience for me in a very short time frame but I'm not normally one to be rude, so I couldn't just walk away.
"I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am," I replied.
We stood there talking for about 5 minutes or so, nothing serious, just small talk really, before she turned to leave.
"It was nice talking to you," she said. "It was almost like my boy was back."
"It was nice talking to you, too."
"I was wondering......... No, that's too much to ask..." She turned away.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Well, if you'd like, when I leave, would you wave to me and say 'Bye Mom!' as I walk out?"
Thinking I could indulge her for just a few minutes more, I said I would be happy to do so.
She headed towards the register, while I opened the soda cooler and grabbed two 1-liter Cokes. As I turned around to head for the register myself, I noticed the woman open the door to go out into the parking lot.
“Goodbye,” she called out to me.
“Bye Mom!” I answered, thinking, foolishly as it turned out, that the weirdness was over, and breathed a sigh of relief.
It only took a second or 2 to reach the register, ask for my cigarettes, and have the cashier ring me up. I pulled out a $20 just as the girl behind the counter gave me my total.
“That's going to be $78.21,” she said.
I looked up, incredulous.
“WHAT?!?!” I exclaimed. “For 2 sodas and 2 packs of cigarettes?!?!”
“$78.21. Your mother said you'd pay for her things, too.” The girl looked bored, as if this sort of thing happened every day.
“She wasn't my real mother! I was just doing her a favor!” I was flabbergasted.
“You waved to her and called her 'Mom' when she left. How was I supposed to know?” the girl sneered, popping her gum.
“I'll be right back,” I said, leaving my things on the counter and heading for the door, hoping I could catch the woman before she could leave.
As I stepped out into the late afternoon sunshine, I looked left and right, scanning the decent sized parking lot for the woman. I noticed her climbing into a car at the far right corner of the store.
I ran towards her, shouting for her to stop. She looked up, startled.
Clambering into her car, she tried starting it, wanting to drive away as quickly as she could, but she kept missing the ignition switch in her apparent nervousness. Lucky for me, her window was down and I was able to snatch the keys from her before she could leave.
“Get out, lady,” I ordered her, angry as hell now. “we're going back in to sort this all out.”
“Fine!” she exclaimed as she climbed out.
“What the blazes were you thinking?!” I asked, backing up a couple of steps.
Just as I was ready to turn around and walk back to the store, the woman pushed me.
I stumbled back and fell over the concrete parking stop. Now I was REALLY mad.
As I was pushing myself up, she growled, actually GROWLED, and leaped at me.
She started pulling on my leg...................................................................................
Much like I'm doing to you right now...
So, I had a very WEIRD thing happen today on my way home from work. Indulge me for a minute whilst I explain...
As per my usual, on my way home, I stopped at a Wawa (convenience store, for those not familiar with the name) to pick up a couple of sodas and a pack or 2 of cigarettes. Usually, I spend no more than maybe $14-$15. Hey, cigarettes are expensive here in the People's Republic of New Jersey.
As I walked in to the store and headed towards the cooler with the sodas, I went past an older woman I didn't know. I smiled politely as I walked by, noticing that she was staring quite intently at me.
I was just opening the cooler door when I heard a gentle clearing of a throat behind me.
"Ahem. Excuse me, young man."
I turned to face the woman who had been staring at me, wondering why in the world anyone would call me a "young man."
"Yes, ma'am? How can I help you?" (My mother raised me right)
"Well...." she said, hesitantly. "I just wanted to let you know that you look almost exactly like my son. I had to do a double-take, you look so much like him. He died a couple years ago, and I miss him terribly."
Obviously, this had become quite the surreal experience for me in a very short time frame but I'm not normally one to be rude, so I couldn't just walk away.
"I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am," I replied.
We stood there talking for about 5 minutes or so, nothing serious, just small talk really, before she turned to leave.
"It was nice talking to you," she said. "It was almost like my boy was back."
"It was nice talking to you, too."
"I was wondering......... No, that's too much to ask..." She turned away.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Well, if you'd like, when I leave, would you wave to me and say 'Bye Mom!' as I walk out?"
Thinking I could indulge her for just a few minutes more, I said I would be happy to do so.
She headed towards the register, while I opened the soda cooler and grabbed two 1-liter Cokes. As I turned around to head for the register myself, I noticed the woman open the door to go out into the parking lot.
“Goodbye,” she called out to me.
“Bye Mom!” I answered, thinking, foolishly as it turned out, that the weirdness was over, and breathed a sigh of relief.
It only took a second or 2 to reach the register, ask for my cigarettes, and have the cashier ring me up. I pulled out a $20 just as the girl behind the counter gave me my total.
“That's going to be $78.21,” she said.
I looked up, incredulous.
“WHAT?!?!” I exclaimed. “For 2 sodas and 2 packs of cigarettes?!?!”
“$78.21. Your mother said you'd pay for her things, too.” The girl looked bored, as if this sort of thing happened every day.
“She wasn't my real mother! I was just doing her a favor!” I was flabbergasted.
“You waved to her and called her 'Mom' when she left. How was I supposed to know?” the girl sneered, popping her gum.
“I'll be right back,” I said, leaving my things on the counter and heading for the door, hoping I could catch the woman before she could leave.
As I stepped out into the late afternoon sunshine, I looked left and right, scanning the decent sized parking lot for the woman. I noticed her climbing into a car at the far right corner of the store.
I ran towards her, shouting for her to stop. She looked up, startled.
Clambering into her car, she tried starting it, wanting to drive away as quickly as she could, but she kept missing the ignition switch in her apparent nervousness. Lucky for me, her window was down and I was able to snatch the keys from her before she could leave.
“Get out, lady,” I ordered her, angry as hell now. “we're going back in to sort this all out.”
“Fine!” she exclaimed as she climbed out.
“What the blazes were you thinking?!” I asked, backing up a couple of steps.
Just as I was ready to turn around and walk back to the store, the woman pushed me.
I stumbled back and fell over the concrete parking stop. Now I was REALLY mad.
As I was pushing myself up, she growled, actually GROWLED, and leaped at me.
She started pulling on my leg...................................................................................
Much like I'm doing to you right now...
I love
April Fool's Day. ~ Hunter
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