King DingleBarry Goes To The Bank

I didn't write this, but I did substitute King DingleBarry's name in it, where appropriate, because I REFUSE to respect him enough to use his “real” name, whatever it may be. ~ Hunter

King DingleBarry walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check, surrounded by his Brute Squad. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"

Cashier:
"It would be my pleasure, sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Barry:
"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am King DingleBarry, the Supreme Ruler of these lands!!!"

Cashier:
"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of 9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

Barry:
“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier:
"I am sorry, your lordship, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Barry:
"I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Michelle for Vacation Day."

Cashier:
"Your Benevolence, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.

“Another time, Andre Agassi came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where as the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check.
So, your Lowness, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, are the Supreme Ruler?"

The Vacant Vacationer stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.”

Cashier:
"Will that be large or small bills, your lordship?”